I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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