He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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