All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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