Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
