Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
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Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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