for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
