just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
