dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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