so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
