piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
