I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize