Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
