you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
