Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize