nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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