There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How many fucks given?
0.12846
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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