WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize