1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
time to smoke my breakfast
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
