Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize