Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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