is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You are a genius and a whore.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
