Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
