I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How does one acquire holy water?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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