we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize