everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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