Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
