like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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