he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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