If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
