Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
