Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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