i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
