16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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