I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize