Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize