Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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