bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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