I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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