I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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