After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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