HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
