I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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