Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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