are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
