Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so that wasnt chicken after all
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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