She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
