"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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