so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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