Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize