New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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