hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize