i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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