rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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