I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
