My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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