I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize