I didn't shave. On purpose
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You are a genius and a whore.
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