No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
