Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
