and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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