cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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