i think my tv is drunk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
